Recycling internet

A paragraph without letter A "Did you know Chuck Norris sleeps with pillows under his guns? There is no theory of evolution, only the list of beings Chuck Norris permits to live. When the Incredible Hulk gets very very furious, he turns into Chuck Norris."

Some people who come on BBC TV show Dragons Den often compare their company to Apple Inc so that dragons can invest in their company. What they should really be doing is comparing themselves to Steve Jobs !!!

Husband : I lost my wife. She went shopping & still hasn't arrived home yet. Inspector: What is her height? Husband: I never noticed. Inspector: Slim or healthy? Husband: Not slim, can be healthy. Inspector: Colour of eyes? Husband: Never noticed. Inspector: Colour of hair ? Husband: Changes according to the season. Inspector: What was she wearing? Husband: Pants and shirt, maybe a dress or something ..... I don't remember exactly. Inspector: Did she go in a car??? Husband: Yes!!! Inspector: Can you tell me the number, name & colour of the car ? Husband: NLH-638 Black Audi A8 with supercharged 3.0 litre V6 engine generating 333 horse power teamed with an eight-speed tiptronic automatic transmission with manual mode....and it has full LED headlights, which use light emitting diodes for all light functions and has a very thin scratch on the front left door. At this point the husband started crying... Inspector: Don't worry sir, we will f...

In a "Mental Hospital" of 38 patient's, a journalist asks the Doctor: How do you determine whether to admit a mental patient or not to? Dr: "Well, we fill a bathtub with water and then give the patient;* (a). a  teaspoon, (b). a glass, (c). a bucket, and ask them to empty the bathtub." Journalist: "Oh, obviously a normal person would use the bucket because its bigger." Dr: "No, a normal person would pull the drain plug! Please go to bed No.39. We will start further investigations on you!"* ........................................ You also thought of the bucket, didn't you? Please go to bed No. 40 ! Double bathtub🛁 What do you think about this it? - Credit: Unknown (DM) Follow @discover_luxuries 💰 ➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖ © All credit goes to the original photographer/owner/creator/designer ➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖ #bath #bathroom #bathbomb #bathtub #couples #water #golden #bathroompic #viral #lifestyleblog #businessclass #chillin...

I’ve never forgotten an elderly, very aristocratic lady who said that she treated her husband’s sexual adventures the same way she did those of her tomcat: “I’m pleased to see him go out in the garden and enjoy himself, and I’m pleased to see him come home in the morning.” Big Guy! #bear #giant #cat #siberiancatsofinstagram #nevamasquerade #lynxpoint #gato #saturday #lazy #days #bigolguy #dailyfluff #goodpet A post shared by Bear and Boris 😺 (@bearandboris) on Feb 3, 2018 at 10:21am PST

Thought of the Day: I wanted to go on a diet. But I am afraid my brain will also get thinner & I may become narrow-minded! 😲 Idea dropped Your perspective is just that. YOUR perspective. Truth does not bend to how YOU see things. Most are not concerned with truth, only their perspective. Be bigger than that! A post shared by To Build A “Wallflower Brand” (@jordanmulson) on Jan 12, 2018 at 10:11am PST

Why do prostitutes love consultants as customers? Because they never actually do anything but sit on the edge of the bed and tell them how great it is going to be.

Consultant brains In a village in darkest Africa a sign hung over a Headhunter’s market stall: Ordinary brains $10 /lb Engineer brains $8 /lb Doctor brains $7 /lb Accountant brains $15 /lb Consultant brains $114 /lb Asked to explain the relatively high cost of Consultant brains, the Headhunter said "You don't appreciate how many Consultants we have to catch to get a pound of brains!"

GRANDMA   IN  COURT .. Brilliantly Hilarious: Lawyers should never ask grandmas' a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer! In a trial, a small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, an elderly grandmother to the stand. He approached her and asked; _"Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"_ She responded, _"Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams._ _I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you're a  big disappointment to me.._ _You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate  people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a  big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will  amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know  you.."_ The lawyer was stunned!  Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked,  _"Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney (the opponent's lawyer)?"_ She again replied, _"Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley s...

A driver is pulled over by a policeman. The policeman approaches the drivers door. 'Is there a problem Officer?' The policeman says, 'Sir, you were speeding. Can I see your licence please?' The driver responds, 'I'd give it to you but I don't have one.' 'You don't have one?' The man responds, 'I lost it four times for drink driving.' The policeman is shocked. 'I see. Can I see your vehicle registration papers please?' 'I'm sorry, I can't do that.' The policeman says, 'Why not?' 'I stole this car.' The officer says, 'Stole it?' The man says, 'Yes, and I killed the owner.' At this point the officer is getting irate. 'You what?' 'She's in the boot if you want to see.' The Officer looks at the man and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes, five police cars show up, surrounding the car. A senior officer slowl...

Especially for English Language Lovers..  Can any one tell the difference between 'Completed' and 'Finished'?  No dictionary has ever been able to define the difference between 'Complete' and 'Finished.'  However, in a linguistic conference, held in London England, Sun Sherman an Indian American, was the clever winner.   His final challenge was this. His response was: When you marry the right woman, you are 'Complete.' If you marry the wrong woman, you are 'Finished.' And , when the right woman catches you with the wrong woman, you are 'Completely Finished.'  His answer  received a five minute standing ovation.

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back it's yours, if it doesn't it never was. And if it just sits there on the sofa, watching TV, unaware that it's been set free, You probably Married it.

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge. "I should be in charge," said the brain, "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen." "I should be in charge," said the blood, "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away." "I should be in charge," said the stomach," Because I process food and give all of you energy." "I should be in charge," said the legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go." "I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to see where it goes." "I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal." All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was b...

Points To Ponder * If poison expires, is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous? * Which letter is silent in the word "Scent," the S or the C? * Do twins ever realize that one of them is unplanned? * Why is the letter W, in English, called double U? Shouldn't it be called double V? * Maybe oxygen is slowly killing you and It just takes 75-100 years to fully work. * Every time you clean something, you just make something else dirty. * The word "swims" upside-down is still "swims". * Intentionally losing a game of rock, paper, scissors is just as hard as trying to win. * 100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses. * Your future self is watching you right now through memories. * The doctors that told Stephen Hawking he had two years to live in 1953 are probably dead. * If you replace "W" with "T" in "What, Where and When", you get...

*Water*. It is interesting and thought provoking Title: *Water* Grand father saw it in *River* Father saw it in *Well* We saw  in *Tap* Our Children see it in *Bottle* Where will our Grand Children see it ! In *CAPSULE???* Please support RALLY FOR RIVER. If we still neglect it will be seen in *Tears*

Someone made my day by posting this today.. New York is 3 hours ahead of California, but it does not make California slow. Someone graduated at the age of 22, but waited 5 years before securing a good job! Someone became a CEO at 25, and died at 50. While another became a CEO at 50, and lived to 90 years. Someone is still single, while someone else got married. Obama retires at 55, but Trump starts at 70. Absolutely everyone in this world works based on their Time Zone. People around you might seem to go ahead of you, some might seem to be behind you. But everyone is running their own RACE, in their own TIME. Don’t envy them or mock them. They are in their TIME ZONE, and you are in yours! Life is about waiting for the ...

An elephant took a bath in a river and was walking on the road. When it neared a bridge, it saw a pig fully soaked in mud coming from the opposite direction. The elephant quietly moved to one side, allowed the dirty pig to pass and then continued its onward journey. The unclean pig later spoke to its friends in arrogance, “See how big I am; even the elephant was afraid of me and moved to one side to let me pass”. On hearing this, some elephants questioned their friend, the reason for its action. Was it out of fear? The elephant smiled and replied, “I could have easily crushed the pig under my leg, but I was clean and the pig was very dirty. By crushing it, my leg will become dirty and I wanted to avoid it. Hence, I moved aside.” *_This story reveals :_* _Realized souls will avoid contact with negativity not out of fear, but out of desire to keep away from impurity though they are strong enough to destroy the impurity._ _You need not react to every opinion, ...

A lawyer yesterday argued in Supreme Court that if  physical relation with wife,  without her consent, is termed as rape then....... Shopping without husband's consent should b termed as Robbery..... The judge is still unconscious....... Indian Court

Want to know about       *BITCOIN* A lot of monkeys lived near a village. One day a merchant came to the village to buy these monkeys! He announced that he will buy the monkeys @ $100 each. The villagers thought that this man is mad. They thought how can somebody buy stray monkeys at $100 each? Still, some people caught some monkeys and gave it to this merchant and he gave $100 for each monkey. This news spread like wildfire and people caught monkeys and sold it to the merchant. After a few days, the merchant announced that he will buy monkeys @ 200 each. The lazy villagers also ran around to catch the remaining monkeys! They sold the remaining monkeys @ 200 each. Then the merchant announced that he will buy monkeys @ 500 each! The villagers start to lose sleep! ... They caught six or seven monkeys, which was all that was left and got 500 each. The villagers were waiting anxiously for the next announcement. Then the merchant announced that he is g...